My email has changed to firstname.lastname@example.org if you
need me…….. please free feel to contact me there!
NEW EMAIL :)))) September 1, 2009
My email has changed to email@example.com if you
Spring Classes for Women June 24, 2009
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Tuesday, July 29, 2009
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
- Class 1 Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM.
- Class 2 Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or complaing About It for 3 Hours? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
- Class 3 Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?–Group Debate. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
- Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase–Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
- Class 5 Curling Irons–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
- Class 6 How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
- Class 7 How a Bath Can Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos? Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
- Class 8 Health Watch–They Make Medicine for PMS – USE IT! Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
- Class 9 I Was Wrong and He Was Right!–Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
- Class 10 How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim. Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
- Class 11 Learning to Live–How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield. Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
- Class 12 How to Shop by Yourself. Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
- Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy–Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
- Class 14 The Stove/Oven–What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
Share this to all your guy friends for the best chuckle of their day . . … and to all your gal friends who have a sense of humor . . ..
What is a Son?
A son is a warm spot in your heart and a smile on your lips. In the beginning, he is charmingly innocent, putting his complete trust in you. He comes to you for a hand to hold and for the security only your arms can provide. He shares his tales of adventure and knows how proud you are of his discoveries and accomplishments. All his problems can be solved by a hug and a kiss from you, and the bond, you share is so strong it is almost tangible….. Time passes, and your innocent little boy starts to test his limits.
He lets go of your hand to race into the midst of life without thinking ahead or looking both ways. His problems have grown along with him, and he has learned that you can’t always make his life better or kiss his troubles away. He spends much of his time away from you, and though you long for the closeness you once shared, he chooses independence and privacy. Discoveries and accomplishments aren’t as easy to come by now, and sometimes he wonders about his worth. But you know the worth of that young man.
He is your past and your future. He is hopes and dreams that have made it through each and every disappointment and failure. In your heart, your son is precious and treasured. Together, you struggles through the years trying to find the right amount of independence for each new stage of his life, until finally, you had to learn to let him go. Now you put your trust in him, leaving that son whom you hold so dear totally in his own care. You hope he always remembers that you have a hand for him to hold and arms to provide comfort or support. Most of all, you hope that he believes in himself as much as you believe in him, and that he knows how much you love him. Poem By Barbara Cage.
happy birthday to the worlds best son ever —-and i’m not kidding when i say that — my boy calls to ask me if he can do the dishes, or calls and sings to me in SPANISH happy anniversary.. hugs at the drop of a hat and gives of himself selflessly every day… Always putting other before himself…. i can’t thank God enough for you mini-man…. Your dad and i are so proud we can’t stand it……
but…. because i know this is the big 1 -3 of life….. i must have some fun… so in honor of becoming a teenager…. i present you with a plaque.. 🙂
DISCLAIMER ****if you choose to not move out, please note all rules shall be enforced as we see fit until a future time where you are self supporting and living in a neighboring community where you can still drop by and do laundry and kiss your mama on the cheek…
rememberversaries… June 16, 2009
Pushing aside the normal shrine to the kids, i’m taking a trip down memory lane today…
i’m swept back in time to when I was but a girl, dreaming of being a woman… peering into adulthood on her tiptoes into a mirror that showed nothing but youth and dreams. A wedding day approached, bells rang, smiles were shared, vows were made. A life ended and a new one began that day.
Time passes ever so quickly, one year becomes two, two flows into 5 and 5 gives way to 12.. soon 14 years have passed and it seems like only yesterday that girl stepped out of childhood and into the rushing pools of being a wife and mother, the two so often overlapping that one has to push back the tide to see that they are so completely different and should remain so but so often are not. Time sits there on my shoulder and stares at me. Reminding me that it slips through the fingers without so much as a warning. Reminding me that each day is to be treasured for who it touches and how its spent.
Often time that girl peers into the mirror yearning to see something ~ anything again, with anticipation as if it were first time, as she did so very long ago, but too often the woman that stares back at her rebukes her, scolding her into a corner. But I wonder if the girl was let out, to run free, if those days would return and if the smell of the roses and rain on the night air would linger as they did so many years ago. She sits staring out of the glass longing to be free…longing to run with her hair flowing down her back into the starry night..
I married my best friend the 17th of June 1995. (or 94 if you’re crazy and can’t engrave correctly). And the paths of our lives have weaved in and out of many places, taken us to different ends of the world, and in and out of circumstances, and through many trials. We’ve fought until the very breath was out of us, loved like there was no tomorrow, cried like there was, and laughed at our blunders. We’ve seen two lives brought into this world……. old things have passed away and new have been born, we’ve seen so many things….. and have stood together.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
where the sidewalk ends….. June 9, 2009
We started Vacation Bible school last night… had 41 teenagers in class.. it was an amazing night, and as I watched them shift uncomfortably during the song service, I giggled to myself – it was an obvious mixture of insecurity and pride — not wanting to embarrass themselves by singing the silly songs, but a deep yearning to at the same time. Teenager years are full of that.. the strong desire to remain a child, but simultaneously announce their independence to the world. I think life is so often like that, even as adults…
I fell in love with Shel Silverstein’s poems when I was a child and relish in the fact that my children enjoy him today.
When the kids leave for the summer, a part of me goes with them… if you look at my posts from this time last year, it is always the same ole tune… missing my mini’s. This is complicated by the fact that Josh will be 13 next week.. A teenager… and that simply astounds me.. How much longer will that boy come ’round for a hug, how much longer will he like us as parents? When will the ackward boy slip away and be replaced but a gangly manchild.
This poem is a favorite of mine, and reminds me of so many times when i thought about where the road turns into the hill, and where it would lead me if i followed it. The bend in the road that leads to everywhere… enjoy the poem and i hope it reminds you of a summer day on a blanket watching the clouds roll by…..Poetry is a song waiting for a score of music to be written….. so sit back, pull up a blanket on the grass and remember the days when all that mattered were moon-pies and yoo-hoos and write some music for your soul…
Where the Sidewalk Ends
There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.
Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.
Yes we’ll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we’ll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.
I’m sorry– have we met?? May 26, 2009
Yes, I know, I’ve apparently fallen off the face of the earth, taken a hiatus or something from the cyber world… but I have ignored my dear blog long enough and have so much that is post worthy, I fear I shall never get it all done. Now I sit on the brink of summer, kids leaving for Ohio, school ending (my baby will be in 5th grade…. Oye vey) So here is the 411, the rundown, the nitty gritty on our lives since my last update…
ABBIE ~ my “mini me”:
She is the drama queen of the family, the louder than life in SO many ways.. for her and for us actually -softball has absorbed our lives since March, and I do mean ABSORBED our lives… practice, games, practice, games..rinse and repeat… wow— its been a long season, but has flown by at the same time—how is that even possible I don’t know. She has batted, struck out, hit, run, stolen bases, caught and cheered louder than ANYONE else on her team.
Its been a great season, we’ve won, we’ve lost, we’ve cheered, we’ve fussed… but all in all the girls have come a long way, and we can’t wait to see what next year holds…
Abbie is going into 5th grade, her last year in elementary school, and my heart nearly breaks at that thought… but the young lady she’s becoming is simply lovely ~ for now anyway, ask me in a few years I may have changed my mind!! She is excited about the summer, going to Nana and Papa’s house, meeting Bailey their new puppy and swimming… apparently she’s not TAN enough yet.. J
JOSH ~ my “mini man”:
He is the one that tells me where I should park so I don’t have so far to walk, the one that calls me and asks if he can do the dishes for me.. Mr Serious, most of the time. J Josh had some really cool opportunites this year, aside from band, he was able to be a student leader and guide the soon-to-be newbie 6th graders around the school. Show them where all the important things are, like… the lunch room and the bathrooms!! The in May he was a part of a Living Wax Museum, the entire school was transformed into a museum. He was able to have a part in it and what was so exciting was his group was studying Peru, so it was awesome for him and he was able to bring a ton of things from home to school to share… it was an amazing night and the kids did a simply fantastic job.
Memorial Day has come and gone, and we spent ours at the Tennessee Aquarium. We picnicked next to the river, watching the boats go by and then off to the aquarium where new exhibits, including penguins nesting on an egg – were on the list to see. And we got there at just the right time, kids were able to feed the stingrays, touch a snake, feed the turtles, hold a butterfly and watch the sharks get fed. Even the river otters were out to play and Tony made a new friend – something called a paddlefish.. very interesting creature….
All in all we had a simply glorious day and enjoyed being out of the house for a change… J
Of course there is always more, but I’ll save that for another day and get on to what you really want to see — pictures…
Top ten reasons March 12, 2009
Most everyone knows I work as a Probation officer… some days its way more fun that others…. some days its exhausting and depressing and I wonder if anyone will ever learn..
Today was amusing. I was growled at by a defendant. I’ve never been growled at before… I’ve been called all sorts of colorful names, been threatened over the phone, been yelled at too many times to count… but never growled at. The individual was very upset (obviously) about going to jail.. now mind you I didn’t actually PUT him in jail, though I did request the warrant… BUT… growling?? this is new…
In our office we have a list of the top 10 Reasons (excuses) we hear on a regular basis, at one time or another we’ve been told these… so I thought I’d share with you what we are told.
We have a slogan in our office – its on a cup holder that reads “Stupidity is not a crime, so you are free to go…” kinda sums it all up…
1. I ain’t got no ride since you took my license
2. I got bills.
3. You close at 5pm.
4. My wife/girlfriend/babies mama had a baby.
5. Somebody died or had surgery
6. I went out of town
7. I had to report to my other probation.
8. I’ve been sick.
9. I don’t know or I just didn’t.
10. I forgot I was on probation.
The best one I’ve ever heard though was
” I can’t pay today because I had to get the turkey I shot stuffed and mounted”
Gotta love rednecks….