Okay these are tips for how to date your children.. strange concept? Perhaps, but bear with me and you’ll see where I’m going with this..
A relationship, no matter if it is spouse, friend, relative, child, whatever must be nourished in order to survive.. so with that in mind, i want to explore how to keep your parent/child relationship alive, no matter the age, gender or current status. Ready?
- Get prepared for dating. Be ready to commit to dating your child. Half-heartedness won’t work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date them, put some effort into it. This is about wooing that heart back to where you want it. Just like you did to get your spouse, you’re going to put on the extra charm and pitch in 110% to capture the heart of your boy or girl.
- Don’t Compare kids!!!! Don’t compare your oldest to your youngest… or your middle to the baby. Each child is an individual and should be seen and valued for who they are!!!!!!! Respect that and do expect them to be the same, act the same, talk the same as your other child or children. Save the comparisons for when you’re shopping for car insurance.
- Don’t Hide From Intimacy — every one of you just went WHAT??? this is my CHILD you’re talking about… WAIT.. Emotional intimacy is the foundation of a good relationship. If you clam up when your little girl wants to you about dating, or physical changes, or love, or even jealousy of a friend, any subject –she may feel he’s the only one sharing. Comments like, “Whatever” or “I don’t care” relay an attitude that says, “I don’t really want to get to know you better.” Get to know your child.. talk to them like you’d want to be talked to.. just because they are little doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings.
- Listen Up –this goes hand in hand with #3 —Learn to listen and watch your relationship blossom. Active listening requires you to keep your lips closed while your child shares. Do not give advice or try to fix anything; instead, repeat back what you thought your child said. Then simply respond with, “Wow, that’s interesting,” or “Really? Tell me more about that… its amazing what you can find out when you sit quietly and listen…
- Take time with each child individually.. maybe you get along better with one because of similar interests or you find its hard to talk to the other… Make and effort to do something special with each child. Dad’s go get a pedicure with your daughter, mom’s go to the arcade and play video games with your boy, show them they are important to you.. make the effort to know them..
- Get in Touch a Lot. Don’t be afraid to hug or kiss your child, but do it when they are comfortable. Cuddle up during a TV show with your little girl or take your sons arm when you’re walking down the street are also ways to bond. This reinforces your affection and makes you feel closer on an instinctive level. Everyone NEEDS contact.. even the most rebellious child longs for the touch of another.. make the effort.
The way you interact with your child is impacting him on life choices, who he or she will marry, the type of person they will eventually choose one day.. How dad’s treat their daughters will set the stage for a life choice of how she interprets love, and what kind of man she will marry.. Moms- your son needs to know love unconditionally from you so he can find that in his future spouse. Don’t be afraid to woo your child.. to date them and show them they are so very important to you. Take the time you once put into to conquering your spouses heart and pour that into you child — win them back if they are far away or just keep them close…..it will build a relationship that will last forever……
Now — go out and start dating :))