the life and times of the godzwa family

pull up a comfy chair and enjoy getting to know our family better…..

What Abbie has to look forward too……. September 27, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Corey @ 5:51 pm
Tony loved this, so I thought it worthy of a post!!! Enjoy!!!!
8 Rules for Dating my Daughter
RULES:
1. If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as heck not picking anything up.
2. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.
3. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist.
4. I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I WILL kill you.
5. In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”
6. I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make YOU cry.
7. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process which can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
8. The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places lacking parents, policemen, or nuns. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her chin. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay.

My daughter claims it embarrasses her to come downstairs and find me attempting to get her date to recite these eight simple rules from memory. I’d be embarrassed too — there are only eight of them, for crying out loud!

And, for the record, I did NOT suggest to one of these cretins that I’d have these rules tattooed on his arm if he couldn’t remember them. (I checked into it and the cost is prohibitive.) I merely told him that I thought writing the rules on his arm with a ball point might be inadequate — ink washes off — and that my wood burning set was probably a better alternative.
One time, when my wife caught me having one of my daughter’s would-be suitors practice pulling into the driveway, get out of the car, and go up to knock on the front door (he had violated rule number one, so I figured he needed to run through the drill a few dozen times) she asked me why I was being so hard on the boy. “Don’t you remember being that age?” she challenged.
Of course I remember. Why do you think I came up with the eight simple rules?
~ Bruce Cameron ~

 

A spoonful of sugar doesn’t always help! September 26, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Corey @ 12:51 pm

So.
I am talking to this defendant at the window, and a little bug flew into my mouth..what do you do??? Do you gag and cough in their face?? Turn green, throw up?? Ahhh, the pressure..now, you have to show professionalism…so as I am talking, I feel the little fellow wiggling in the back of my throat, I keep talking and GULP swallow. Then after he left, I run to my desk and gulp down some coffee..go down! Go down!!! – I think he’s still wiggling!! Aaahhhhh

Now I as I reflect on the thought that I ate a bug…I am reminded of Peru, where at first, when there was a fly in your coke you asked for a different glass…then later, when there was fly, you took the fly out and keep drinking, then…you drank around the fly and finally, just gulped down the whole thing!!

Do people ever think about this if they have never lived in another country?? =)
Just thought I’d share…made me smile.

 

Say what???? September 25, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Corey @ 2:22 pm
This is dedicated to everyone that has ever tried to live in another country
and learn another language….or tried to get a room at your local Motel 6…
(thank you to whomever sent this my way!!!)

In order to continue getting-by in America , we all need to learn the
NEW English language! Practice by reading the following conversation
until you are able to understand, with a little patience, you’ll be able to fit right in.

Now, here goes…

The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel

guest and call room-service somewhere in the good old U S A today……

Room Service : “Morrin. Roon sirbees.”

Guest : “Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.”

Room Service: ” Rye . Roon sirbees…morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???”

Guest: “Uh….. Yes, I’d like to order bacon and eggs.”

Room Service: “Ow July den?”

Guest: “…..What??”

Room Service: “Ow July den?!?… pryed, boyud, poochd?”

Guest: “Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. scrambled, please.”

Room Service: “Ow July dee baykem? Crease?”

Guest: “Crisp will be fine.”

Room Service: “Hokay. An Sahn toes?”

Guest: “What?”

Room Service: “An toes. July Sahn toes?”

Guest: “I… don’t think so.”

RoomService: “No? Judo wan sahn toes???”

Guest: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo wan
sahn toes’ means.”

RoomService: “Toes! Toes!…Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish
moppin we bodder?”

Guest: “Oh, English muffin!!!&nb sp; I’ve got it! You were saying
‘toast’… Fine…Yes, an English muffin will be fine.”

RoomService: “We bodder?”

Guest: “No, just put the bodder on the side.”

RoomService: “Wad?!?”
Guest: “I mean butter… just put the butter on the side.”

RoomService: “Copy?”

Guest: “Excuse me?”

RoomService: “Copy…tea..meel?”

Guest: “Yes. Coffee, please… and that’s everything.”
RoomService: “One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin,
we bodder on sigh and copy … rye??”
Guest: “Whatever you say.”
RoomService: “Tenjooberrymuds.”

Guest: “You’re welcome”

Remember I said “By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND

‘TENJOOBERRYMUDS’ “…..and you do don’t you!

 

So I’ve neglected things for a while….. September 19, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Corey @ 6:23 pm
It seems like just yesterday the kids were in Ohio and we were about to start school. Now, over a month later and well on our way into the school year, I haven’t posted a new blog and I am sure everyone is rushing around in a panic wondering what is going on.

Well, that is probably a pipe dream, I don’t know if people actually read this or not, but I’ll sum up the last few months –

August was on record the hottest month..maybe ever – with more than 18 straight days of over 100 degree weather and the rest between 95 -99, it was down right suffocating.. well, in the middle of all this, our air conditioner at the house died…it was a sad day in the Godzwa house..and an expensive one. It’s really sad when you have to say goodbye to an old friend, but when that friend costs you more than $50 – it can be downright heartbreaking..and let me tell you this was costly. So there we are in the middle of a heat wave with borrowed window units and a prayer keeping us cool when my car decides it isn’t getting enough attention and wants a vacation…so it has to go the fancy Volkswagen shop to get an operation…a few hundred dollars later..she’s running again, but has a slight attitude now. So, car breaks, air breaks, kids start school again….and then…….

I get sick. Sick like – can’t get out of the bed or breathe for that matter- cough my head off, fever sick – in AUGUST?? What is up with that? So, there I am sick, coughing..looking for Kleenex when I hear a RUSHING sound coming from the kitchen..

I thought perhaps I started the dishwasher and then forgot..so I quickly walked into the kitchen…to find that my husband installed a river while I was sleeping!! Well, not a river, but a pipe burst and the water was quickly filling my kitchen floor!!! We fought with that for a few hours, trying to get the water shut off, but to no avail, it was stuck, unmovable for the moment..I called everyone I knew, and finally we found someone that had a bigger wrench than we had and our hero of the hour was on his way. The next day was spent with two and a half men under the sink putting in new pipes…THANK YOU BRO HOWARD!! It is great to have friends that love you and are there for you when you need them!!! Donations are being received at this time – cash, checks, and all major credit cards are accepted!! ha ha

**WHAT NEXT??****

So far…..nothing…I am not optimistic right now, actually I tremble every time the dishwasher comes on or the washer is going, wondering what is going to break next…(between you and me, I think it’s the water heater…that’s my secret Santa wish…for a new one, not that it breaks!!ha ha)

God is teaching me about faith, and I love that he has provided so lovingly for us this past month!! It’s been amazing how he’s moved in our life amidst everything.

Josh and Abbie are in school, doing great and loving the new teachers and the new year. Abbie is in ALPHA again, and is going one day a week to that advanced class, Josh is also taking advanced classes – KUDOS to them!! I am very proud of the hard work they put in getting their work done!! We are anticipating a great year – 1st quarter report cards come out next week, and we are shooting for all 4’s! – That is the new lingo for an A – at least so I am told..

Sorry for rambling on, it’s been quite an adventure!!!

Tootles!!!