Day 6: This Too Shall Pass January 29, 2007

I think it hilarious that I am no longer greeted with the standard “hey, how are ya?” right now, rather a “hey, has Tony passed his stone yet??” – it doesn’t bother me when family asks, but it did sit really strange with me when a older man that I really don’t know from church asked me….. Ummm, no, and who are you again??

Poor thing has been miserable all week…..I think he has drank enough liquid to float an entire fleet of boats….and yet…he waits, and thus, we all do….

Josh got sick this weekend, so it seems all my men are either snotty and coughing or in pain…poor fellows.

An up side to it all………………………….my Colts are going to the SuperBowl this Sunday…. did I mention the Colts are going to play in the SuperBowl THIS Sunday????

Just in case you missed it – a recap of events:

Tony Vs. Stone Tony-1 Stone-10

Josh Vs. Cold Josh-0 Cold-5

Colt Vs. Bears To be determined SUNDAY!!!!!

(Tony – you know I still love ya babe!!!)

Ode to women everywhere…… January 26, 2007

This is by far one of the funniest things I have ever read. I think my sides split open from laughter. Only woman who have had this done can fully understand the reality of this.

So to all women, past, present and future that have had a mammogram – This is to you.

POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM

I actually kept my mammogram appointment.
I was met with, “Hi! I’m Belinda!”
This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned,
“All I need you to do is step into this room right heeere, strip to the waist, thennnn slip on this gown. Everything clearrrr?”
I’m thinking, “Belinda, honey, try decaf. This ain’t rocket science.”
Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
Call me crazy, but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a perfectly healthy cup size of> 34-B to a size 38-LONG in less than 60 seconds. Also, girls aren’t made of sugar and spice and everything nice….it’s Spandex. We can be stretched, pulled and twisted over a cold 4-inch piece of square glass and still pop back into shape. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said,
“Hmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?”
“Fine,” I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two 4″ pieces of square> glass) when we heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!
“What?” I yelled.
“Oh, maintenance is working. Bet ! they hit a snag.” Belinda headed for the door.
“Excuse me! You’re not leaving me in this vise alone, are you?” I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, “Oh, you fussy puppy….the door’s wide open so you’ll have the emergency hall lights. I’ll be righttttt> backkkk.”
Before I could shout “NOOOO!” she disappeared.
And that’s exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging polite “Hi, how’s it going” type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, “Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.” “You bet, take care” Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I’d been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said,
“Oh I am soooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?”

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps.

Things that make you go…OUCH January 24, 2007

It amazes me the things men will do to get attention from their wives… now that I have YOUR attention..I will explain. Tony has had a bad weekend, health wise, now, I won’t go into all the details, but he hasn’t felt all that…. spiffy, to say the least. So in order to get my undivided attention, he decides to get a kidney stone…get REALLY sick from it and have to go to the doctor (actually I MADE him go to the doctor, but that isn’t really the point, now, is it??) . So yesterday, I spent all day running hither, thither and yonder toting him to doctors appointments and getting medication, taking him back to another appointment and even getting some nifty pictures of his pelvic area….only to find out that the reason behind all this is only 3mm in diameter….and yet, its terribly painful. I can assume that it is similar to labor pains, yet we get something beautiful from all our travail and he will get…. well, this:

Congratulations sweetie… job well done..

Nightmare on Rolling Way Drive January 17, 2007

Some lessons are harder to learn than others. Last year I adamantly declared that we would NEVER have another birthday party at home…sigh, how quickly we recant on these things… Well, Abbie wanted to have a sleepover….that sounded lovely to me…3 darling little girls, all bestest friends, a makeover session, girly gossip and late night movies… It was then decided that we would include a birthday cake and ice cream party to appease all the little ones that weren’t allowed to sleep over (3 is my limit!!) So, here we go, buy the cake, ice cream, a few balloons and *POOF* a party….

Friday night comes the bestest of best friends come home with us after school and all is well….then it happened…

The neighbor girl, who is a playmate occasionally with Abbie comes down because she sees children in our front yard…she runs up, “please can I play with you too?” sure why not, right? Well, about 10 mins later, Abbie is hiding in her closet sobbing…..”mama, my friends don’t want to play with me….” ummmm little neighbor girl had convinced everyone to play with her and not Abbie.

Okay, buh-bye little neighbor girl, thou shalt not make my daughter cry at her birthday party.

Well, that didn’t sit well with little neighbor girl, who declares that she will be spending the night! Where, I ask? Not here! Yes, as you can imagine that went over even better…made little neighbor girl very happy!! I actually had to force her to leave as dinner was served to my children and guests, she didn’t understand why she couldn’t stay and eat!! ummm…..4 kids, 4 mini pizzas….that was it!! So then she declares she will come for the party…fine, come back at 7pm… Needless to say, her mother (who is now my hero) told her she had basketball practice and couldn’t come back….

So then…yes the saga continues…the party goes off without a hitch, the girls get along wonderfully with everyone, Abbie is smiling and no one is crying!! Mama is one happy girl…party into the night, lights out about 11:30pm. Sleeping children..sort of…

The clock strikes one….and I hear a knock at my door compounded with tears…I open the door to find two terrified little girls….their partner in crime had told them that someone was going to break into our house and kill them in the night….needless to say I slept on the couch for the rest of the night to protect them…yes, like I would be much protection…

Thus ends our little saga…Saturday was a cheerful day of play at Chuck-E-Cheeses and all is well…until next year…

Abbie’s Birthday Bash!!!!! January 16, 2007

She’s 8!!!!!!! Come and party with us!

For all of us that aren’t getting any younger….. January 11, 2007

10. “No hable Ingles”
9. “First, how much do YOU weigh?”
8. “In dog years or people years?”
7. “No cake for you!” (in a German accent)
6. “Turn up your hearing aid and I’ll tell you!”
5. “Ask my agent”
4. “THE TRUTH?! YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!”
3. “What is age, really?”
2. “Old enough to be send to jail for murder”

And the #1 thing to say when asked ” How old ARE you? is………………………

“Younger than you, OBVIOUSLY!!”

Not a baby anymore January 8, 2007

Gone are the days of 2am feeding. Gone are the days of pampers, formula, crawling and spitting up.

Gone are the days of endless rocking to get you to take a nap. Gone are the days of the sweet toothless kisses.

Now are the days of 2am girl gossip sessions. Now are the days of stylish clothes, cartwheels and ponytails. Now are the days of endless conversations in the kitchen while baking cookies or making dinner. Now are the days of sweet toothfilled kisses.

I love you for who you were. I love you for who you are. I love you for who you will become.

Although I can hardly believe that 8 years have already flown by, I am so proud to call her our daughter, so humbled that God gave her to us, and so worried about what we will do in a few years when the boys start knocking on our door.

Happy Birthday to our sweet girl.

An Invitation to Christmas at Our House January 3, 2007

Come and enjoy Christmas with our family. Enjoy the show!

Happy New Year!!! January 3, 2007

The confetti fell late into the night on Sunday, December 31, 2006…..the clock struck midnight the crowd cheers….and I slept through it all…in a Nyquil haze of blissfulness….
Colds are a funny thing, they attack you when you least expect it. Mine has settled into my chest and appears to be happy with its new residence. New Years was a good night though, starting with church services, a good meal, and a rousing game of Rummy Royal, a family game that involves candy and a lot of cheating..Thankfully, I was not sick for our long awaited Christmas Celebration. It was funny to me that from one day to the next our children went from these spiritual beings (“Happy Birthday to Jesus”) – to present crazy short people (“The big one is mine!!”)!
Now, as I mentioned before, Abbie decided that Santa was real this year and was going to fully enjoy this Christmas, early in December we emailed Santa and asked him to come a few days late, so we could have Christmas with the family that was coming down, he wrote back and said that it wouldn’t be a problem…for this year. Thursday morning finally came Abbie popped up out of bed early and burst into the living room to get things ready – today was THE day….she found a plate, rushed into her room to find her coveted candy cane, ran into the kitchen to place a few cookies on the plate and questioned as to whether the reindeer would like Carmel corn, or if they would fight over it, if there wasn’t enough… We placed the plate on the coffee table with a little note, so that Santa would know that we left it just for him (you see at the mall Santa told Abbie that last year Daddy ate all the cookies and there were none for him….so this was very important!

Everything was set, and off we went to work. (Hi Ho Hi Ho it’s off to work we go…)

Now I am all for playing things up, so my parents arrived late that afternoon and rescued the children from my office dungeon (otherwise known as the break room) and they went to play. I left almost immediately to rush home to “meet Santa”. Then returned back into town to meet the family and after a short shopping trip, we were off to the house.

We pull into the driveway and the Christmas lights were shining in the windows.. I mention that to Abbie, because Tony doesn’t leave lights on when he leaves the house, so this is odd. We walk into the house and I hear a loud gasp come from Abbie……….and then…
“MAMA HE CAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Ah, the glory of being a parent. Josh walked in shortly after and said “nah, Daddy put all those gifts there” to which Abbie replies “But Josh the lights were ON when we came home” What? Lights on? Josh rethinks this and says…”but Daddy doesn’t leave lights on…hmmmmm” I see the wheels turning…he wants to believe….and yet…he just isn’t sure…but the twinkle in his eye when he sees the tree, the gifts is priceless..
And so it begins. We are very organized in our Christmas time, we like to savor each moment, so after passing out the gifts, each with his own private stash, we go one by one around the room and open the gifts. Two hours later, the kids thrilled at what they received, Tony more thrilled at the Eagles Robe my mom made him and I sitting back in my warm winters cap, settle in for a long winters nap.