the life and times of the godzwa family

 THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

 REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Tuesday, July 29, 2009

 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

• Class 1 Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM.
•  Class 2 Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or complaing About It for 3 Hours? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
•  Class 3 Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?–Group Debate. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
• Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase–Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
• Class 5 Curling Irons–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
•  Class 6 How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
• Class 7 How a Bath Can Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos? Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
• Class 8 Health Watch–They Make Medicine for PMS – USE IT! Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
• Class 9 I Was Wrong and He Was Right!–Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
• Class 10 How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim. Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
•  Class 11 Learning to Live–How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield. Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
•  Class 12 How to Shop by Yourself. Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
•  Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy–Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
•  Class 14 The Stove/Oven–What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Share this to all your guy friends for the best chuckle of their day . . … and to all your gal friends who have a sense of humor . . ..

What is a Son?

 A son is a warm spot in your heart and a smile on your lips.   In the beginning, he is charmingly innocent, putting his complete trust in you.   He comes to you for a hand to hold and for the security only your arms can provide.   He shares his tales of adventure and knows how proud you are of his discoveries and accomplishments.   All his problems can be solved by a hug and a kiss from you, and the bond, you share is so strong it is almost tangible….. Time passes, and your innocent little boy starts to test his limits.  

He lets go of your hand to race into the midst of life without thinking ahead or looking both ways.   His problems have grown along with him, and he has learned that you can’t always make his life better or kiss his troubles away. He spends much of his time away from you, and though you long for the closeness you once shared, he chooses independence and privacy.   Discoveries and accomplishments aren’t as easy to come by now, and sometimes he wonders about his worth.   But you know the worth of that young man.  

 He is your past and your future.   He is hopes and dreams that have made it through each and every disappointment and failure.   In your heart, your son is precious and treasured.   Together, you struggles through the years trying to find the right amount of independence for each new stage of his life, until finally, you had to learn to let him go.   Now you put your trust in him, leaving that son whom you hold so dear totally in his own care.   You hope he always remembers that you have a hand for him to hold and arms to provide comfort or support.   Most of all, you hope that he believes in himself as much as you believe in him, and that he knows how much you love him.   Poem By Barbara Cage.

happy birthday to the worlds best son ever —-and i’m not kidding when i say that — my boy calls to ask me if he can do the dishes, or calls and sings to me in SPANISH happy anniversary.. hugs at the drop of a hat and gives of himself selflessly every day… Always putting other before himself…. i can’t thank God enough for you mini-man…. Your dad and i are so proud we can’t stand it……

but…. because i know this is the big 1 -3 of life….. i must have some fun… so in honor of becoming a teenager…. i present you with a plaque..

DISCLAIMER ****if you choose to not move out, please note all rules shall be enforced as we see fit until a future time where you are self supporting and living in a neighboring community where you can still drop by and do laundry and kiss your mama on the cheek…

Pushing aside the normal shrine to the kids, i’m taking a trip down memory lane today…

i’m swept back in time to when I was but a girl, dreaming of being a woman… peering into adulthood on her tiptoes into a mirror that showed nothing but youth and dreams.  A wedding day approached, bells rang, smiles were shared, vows were made.  A life ended and a new one began that day.

Time passes ever so quickly, one year becomes two, two flows into 5 and 5 gives way to 12.. soon 14 years have passed and it seems like only yesterday that girl stepped out of childhood and into the rushing pools of being a wife and mother, the two so often overlapping that one has to push back the tide to see that they are so completely different and should remain so but so often are not.  Time sits there on my shoulder and stares at me. Reminding me that it slips through the fingers without so much as a warning.  Reminding me that each day is to be treasured for who it touches and how its spent. 

Often time that girl peers  into the mirror yearning to see something ~ anything again, with anticipation as if it were first time,  as she did so very long ago, but too often the woman that stares back at her rebukes her, scolding her into a corner. But I wonder if the girl was let out, to run free, if those days would return and if the smell of the roses and rain on the night air would linger as they did so many years ago. She sits staring out of the glass longing to be free…longing to run with her hair flowing down her back into the starry night..

I married my best friend  the 17th of June 1995.  (or 94 if you’re crazy and can’t engrave correctly).  And the paths of our lives have weaved in and out of many places, taken us to different ends of the world, and in and out of circumstances, and through many trials.  We’ve fought until the very breath was out of us,  loved like there was no tomorrow, cried like there was, and laughed at our blunders. We’ve seen two lives brought into this world……. old things have passed away and new have been born, we’ve  seen so many things….. and have stood together. 

 happy anniversary…………

We started Vacation Bible school last night… had 41 teenagers in class.. it was an amazing night, and as I watched them shift uncomfortably during the song service, I giggled to myself –  it was an obvious mixture of insecurity  and pride — not wanting to embarrass themselves by singing the silly songs, but a deep yearning to at the same time.  Teenager years are full of that.. the strong desire to remain a child, but simultaneously announce their independence to the world.    I think life is so often like that, even as adults…

 I fell in love with Shel Silverstein’s poems when I was a child and relish in the fact that my children enjoy him today.  

When the kids leave for the summer, a part of me goes with them… if you look at my posts from this time last year, it is always the same ole tune… missing my mini’s. This is complicated by the fact that Josh will be 13 next week.. A teenager… and that simply astounds me.. How much longer will that boy come ’round for a hug, how much longer will he like us as parents? When will the ackward boy slip away and be replaced but a gangly manchild.   

This poem is a favorite of mine, and reminds me of so many times when i thought about where the road turns into the hill, and where it would lead me if i followed it.   The bend in the road that leads to everywhere…  enjoy the poem and i hope it reminds you of a summer day on a blanket watching the clouds roll by…..Poetry is a song waiting for a score of music to be written….. so sit back, pull up a blanket on the grass and remember the days when all that mattered were moon-pies and yoo-hoos and write some music for your soul…

Where the Sidewalk Ends

There is a place where the sidewalk ends

And before the street begins,

And there the grass grows soft and white,

 And there the sun burns crimson bright,

 And there the moon-bird rests from his flight

To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black

And the dark street winds and bends.

 Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow

 We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,

 And watch where the chalk-white arrows go

To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we’ll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,

And we’ll go where the chalk-white arrows go,

For the children, they mark, and the children, they know

The place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes, I know, I’ve apparently fallen off the face of the earth, taken a hiatus or something from the cyber world… but I have ignored my dear blog long enough and have so much that is post worthy, I fear I shall never get it all done. Now I sit on the brink of summer, kids leaving for Ohio, school ending (my baby will be in 5^th grade…. Oye vey) So here is the 411, the rundown, the nitty gritty on our lives since my last update…

ABBIE ~ my “mini me”:

She is the drama queen of the family, the louder than life in SO many ways.. for her and for us actually -softball has absorbed our lives since March, and I do mean ABSORBED our lives… practice, games, practice, games..rinse and repeat… wow— its been a long season, but has flown by at the same time—how is that even possible I don’t know.  She has batted, struck out, hit, run, stolen bases, caught and cheered louder than ANYONE else on her team.  

Its been a great season, we’ve won, we’ve lost, we’ve cheered, we’ve fussed… but all in all the girls have come a long way, and we can’t wait to see what next year holds…

Abbie is going into 5^th grade, her last year in elementary school, and my heart nearly breaks at that thought… but the young lady she’s becoming is simply lovely ~ for now anyway, ask me in a few years I may have changed my mind!!   She is excited about the summer, going to Nana and Papa’s house, meeting Bailey their new puppy and swimming… apparently she’s not TAN enough yet.. J

JOSH ~ my “mini man”:

He is the one that tells me where I should park so I  don’t have so far to walk, the one that calls me and asks if he can do the dishes for me.. Mr Serious, most of the time. J Josh had some really cool opportunites this year, aside from band, he was able to be a student leader and guide the soon-to-be newbie 6^th graders around the school.   Show them where all the important things are, like… the lunch room and the bathrooms!!  The in May he was a part of a Living Wax Museum, the entire school  was transformed into a museum. He was able to have a part in it and what was so exciting was his group was studying Peru, so it was awesome for him and he was able to bring a ton of things from home to school to share… it was an amazing night and the kids did a simply fantastic job.

Memorial Day has come and gone, and we spent ours at the Tennessee Aquarium. We picnicked next to the river, watching the boats go by and then off to the aquarium where new exhibits, including penguins nesting on an egg – were on the list to see. And we got there at just the right time, kids were able to feed the stingrays, touch a snake, feed the turtles, hold a butterfly and watch the sharks get fed. Even the river otters were out to play and Tony made a new friend – something called a paddlefish.. very interesting creature….

All in all we had a simply glorious day and enjoyed being out of the house for a change… J

Of course there is always more, but I’ll save that for another day and get on to what you really want to see — pictures…

So enjoy!!!!

Most everyone knows I work as a Probation officer… some days its way more fun that others…. some days its exhausting and depressing and I wonder if anyone will ever learn..

Today was amusing. I was growled at by a defendant. I’ve never been growled at before… I’ve been called all sorts of colorful names, been threatened over the phone, been yelled at too many times to count… but never growled at.   The individual was very upset (obviously) about going to jail.. now mind you I didn’t actually PUT him in jail, though I did request the warrant… BUT… growling?? this is new…

In our office we have a list of the top 10 Reasons (excuses) we hear on a regular basis, at one time or another we’ve been told these… so I thought I’d share with you what we are told.

We have a slogan in our office – its on a cup holder that reads  “Stupidity is not a crime, so you are free to go…” kinda sums it all up…

1. I ain’t got no ride since you took my license

2. I got bills.

3. You close at 5pm.

4. My wife/girlfriend/babies mama had a baby.

5. Somebody died or had surgery

6. I went out of town

7. I had to report to my other probation.

8. I’ve been sick.

9. I don’t know or I just didn’t.

10. I forgot I was on probation.

The best one I’ve ever heard though was
” I can’t pay today because I had to get the turkey I shot stuffed and mounted”

Gotta love rednecks….

i think some time ago I mentioned that Josh plays in the band.  Tonight he is taking part in something called “Festival” — it is an 8th grade event that he has been selected to participate in, so for that last month or so, he’s had after school practices with the 8th grade band.  Big stuff for a 6th grader… Tonight is part 1 of Festival, and the only part we parents will participate in.  They will play tonight and receive some criticism, in order to prepare them for the region wide competition on the 13th. 

Now, its about 3 hours before he is suppose to be at the school. I’ve already received 2 calls about what he has to wear.  He can’t find his black pants…(look in your closet)…. panic mode.  I need a tie (top drawer dear)  and the white shirt….(next to your pants in the closet) 

Its always exciting around our house, that is for sure… so tonight we listen to the band and then one of us gets to go and freeze on the ball field for Abbie’s practice (I’m secretly hoping that Tony volunteers since i’m still coughing and sneezing)  

Someday I’ll learn how to post videos… (probably helps to OWN a video recorder thingy…)  but for now, you’ll just have to trust me when I blog about how great it went!!!

ta-ta for now!

Spring is just around the corner…. flowers will soon be blooming, grass will start to grow, trees will bud. But in our house, all that matters is the clay around the bases.

   yup, its softball season again, and Abbie’s up to bat.  Its a fun transformation, suddenly, she doesn’t care if her hair gets messed up, or if her nails are painted… sweat can run freely… as long as she gets to swing that bat.

Her team this year is the Cohutta Drillers.  It consists of only 9 girls this year.  Which is odd because last year we had so many they were fighting about who was going to bat, oops, that was the parents,  not the girls.   =)  It is going to be a great year, there are 10 year olds that are able to throw with ease from 3rd to 1st base.  A pitcher that appears to understand the concept of fast pitch and a remarkable coach.  We’re excited, and will keep you posted.

“Take me out to the ball game….. take me out to the crowd….”

http://www.ustream.tv/flash/video/1166115

Click for the video of our boy!!!!!!!!!!!

Abbie had a particularly cool experience today, she and her ALPHA group (a gifted program at the school) participated in a mock trial today. They all were able to go to the Superior Court Building of Whitfield County and hold the trial, along with 16 other ALPHA groups- complete with a “real” superior court Judge and local attorneys helping out.   Today was all about Hansel, Gretel and the mean old lady with the gingerbread house… Accusations are flying, that the children destroyed her property and assaulted her by pushing her into the oven!!  That they stole from her…. What will happen…..will justice prevail? Will Hansel and Gretel go to JAIL? Or will it be probation?

Charge:   Petty Theft                                        Verdict: NOT GUILTY

Charge: Criminal Damage to  Property    Verdict: NOT GUILTY

Charge: Battery                                                 Verdict:  HUNG JURY – NO VERDICT

SHE’S BEEN VINDICATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the article in the paper, while Abbie’s name does not appear, she was Gretel in trial representing her school Cohutta Elementary.

Justice for Hansel and Gretel?

By Rachel Brown

Megan Yarbrough was determined to prove Malvinia Crueller was after the children.

“I’m supposed to have seen Hansel and Gretel outside admiring my pies,” said Megan, a fifth-grade student from Brookwood Elementary School who took on the part of a local baker in a mock trial session between students at Whitfield and Dalton schools on Thursday. “I’m a witness. This is completely new to me.”

The Mock Trial Bowl at the Whitfield County Courthouse continues today. Seventeen teams from the Whitfield County and Dalton city school systems have or will participate in the case of the State of Georgia vs. Hansel Schmidt and Gretel Schmidt. Most of the students are fifth-graders in the gifted program, but a few are in the fourth grade.

Hansel and Gretel are accused of stealing pieces of cookies and candies from Crueller’s gingerbread shop, breaking up her gingerbread houses and trying to shove her into a hot oven. The defendants say they were acting in self-defense when Crueller ran after them, hoping they would be her next meal.

“They (students) are here today to learn about how citizens’ rights are protected under the Constitution,” said Eva Hendrix, a teacher at Cohutta Elementary School who coordinates the noncompetitive program. “We are not about winning or losing. We’re about justice for Hansel Schmidt and Gretel Schmidt.”

Tammy Poplin, a teacher at Dalton’s C3 Center, said mock trials are part of the program for gifted students. Whitfield students held trials for the first time last year, and this year Dalton schools were invited to participate.

“The kids have been so into this,” Poplin said, adding the students have been practicing since January.

Many children came to court on Thursday dressed for their parts. Young boys assigned to be attorneys dressed in ties and pinstripe suits, girls supposed to be bakers wore aprons and chef hats, and others who were called as witnesses donned dressy courtroom attire.

Cassandra Brown, a fifth-grader at Westside Elementary School, put on a pointed witch’s hat and a black, star-studded cape for her part as Crueller. While Cassandra had practiced the part with her classmates, she said she was still somewhat nervous.

“I think (the hardest thing) is just going to be getting up in front of all the people because I’m shy,” she said.

One of her classmates, Clippar Smith, was an attorney prosecuting Hansel and Gretel. He said he learned about how closing and opening statements are given by the prosecution and defense.

“It teaches us what kinds of jobs lawyers have, and if we want to be one when we grow up all we have to do is pay attention to what goes on,” he said.

Dalton attorney Rick Brown and Superior Court Judge William T. Boyett were among those helping with the program, in addition to a few local lawyers and several teachers. Parents and grandparents were allowed to sit in as jury members.